I suck at Mother’s Day. I’m not sure if I suck more at doing something nice for my mother, or at trying to be grateful that my kids made a card and poem out of crap I bought at the dollar store the week before.

It’s confusing. I’m supposed to care right? But I don’t. And before you tell me I’m depressed, or I need therapy, or I’m a selfish curmudgeon mother (okay, I kind of am), Mother’s Day is a MADE UP holiday. It’s a Hallmark Holiday for goodness sake. It’s about buying stuff, and doing things you probably don’t want to do. The sentiment is right – love, respect and pay homage to your mother, but what starts out as a nice idea, stealths into a day filled with unspoken expectations about who this day is for. Is it about your own mother? All the mothers in your life? Or the mother you have become? Mother’s Day is a whole lotta pressure to be more-mom on the one day of the year dedicated to not hiding in the closet to eat your chocolate.

Do my kids love me? Yes. And it goes without saying that I love them more than life itself. But, if no one told them it was Mother’s Day, they’d still hug me and tell me they love me, and sometimes fart on me while they laugh their faces off – because they do this almost everyday! Why make everyone jump through hoops on this day? Let’s not set the bar so high for anyone. I’d be happy to skip the post-apocalyptic “we made you breakfast” kitchen; the “omg I love it” wtf-is-it craft? And the early morning surprise wake up; complete with doughy pancakes and potentially trichinosis-laden bacon slices.







If we’re honest, we know that some people have a crappy relationship with their mom; have lost their mom; aren’t moms but are desperately trying to be a mom; aren’t moms but are two dads; or god forbid, a mom who’s outlived her child. There couldn’t be a worse made-up day for this kind of heartache. There’s no card that says “WTF Mother’s Day? Suck-it because my sadness is Marianna’s Trench kind of deep, and I don’t want to click on Facebook to see every post that reminds me of what I don’t have, can’t have or have lost.” Everyone has a mother, but not everyone needs a Mother’s Day.

Do you know what I’d like for Mother’s Day?


Wait. That’s not true.

Coffee. I want coffee. And I want to drink it while it’s hot. And I want to sleep in without being checked on because “I’ve been sleeping for a super long time and no one’s made any breakfast.” I guess I’d just like a day where the only thing I have to do is drink a lot of coffee, get some awesome hugs – the kind only kids can give and – probably drink some wine. I love my mom, and I love being a mom. Some days I’ll be a super mom and other days I’ll be suck-it mom. Mother’s Day is mine to make of it what I choose, and this year it’s going to be a highly caffeinated, duvet-wearing, no-stress kind of day for me ?

Do you Mother’s Day?

Whether you do or you don’t, enjoy it in whatever way makes you happy.

Happy Mother’s Slice Everyone.